u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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