True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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