This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
