Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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