you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Enjoy the penises
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
