Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's blow job season.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
