why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The feeling are messing with the penis
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
