butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
