I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
