Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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