I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
