found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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