best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
