dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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