Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
