just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We need to rekindle our bromance
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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