I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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