I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
