That's intense
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
