this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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