No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
