Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
her vagine was all disorganized.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
