Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
