I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
