all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
