i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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