you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
