shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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