he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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