so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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