yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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