I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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