Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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