We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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