Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
