i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
