You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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