The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
