Dual....:-)
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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