Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
