i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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