you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize