she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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