my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pants 0. Shit 1.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
