He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
