I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
