it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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