my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize