I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
