We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
