I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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