Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
