hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
