I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My balls are so social today.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
