i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize