Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
third nipple confirmed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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