Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also, beer. Big fan.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
