Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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